Thursday, August 30, 2012

WQ #9246: So what's it like being a Blogger?

Ag you know… its chilled vibes! :)

OK, no bullshit, I love it. It’s all I have. You see? It was a warm summer afternoon, when the little voice in my head said to me: “I can’t believe you did this to us!!” Such scorn in his tone, I think he might have spat on the floor. Anyway, I never really knew what he was talking about, after all, it was twenty ten, a very important moment in history, I had no time to be crazy. Sitting here however, it becomes very clear. I have been a traitor and this is my punishment. Ugh.

Clearly I’m no longer talking about blogging. So the reason this question is wrong, is because it’s judgmental. Not the question but the notion of blogging not being an art form or whatever. I’ve been hearing the slander about it, and I’m all like whatever. I have a good reason. I remember exactly the moment I decided to go down this weird path. Last year, my roommates and I were on to something, at least I thought we were. At that altitude everything sounds like a good idea, you know? Ja, so I had wireless internet, right, and we were fucking around on this website with funny pictures, and we saw this one picture of a Facebook thread. This girl decided to declare her vegetarianism or whatever, and an epidemic of comments broke out, and it was so funny I swear we laughed for like an hour. Her friends were so classy with counter arguments on why she shouldn’t go down that road. Then others defended her honor, but with such wit, og, I’m still impressed. We decided to try out something similar. OK, the next part is boring –opened a few groups, talked nothing but shit for a while, then we talked good shit, poetry and theories and what not, blah blah- It got old pretty fast… for them. :)

I continued, and flooded Facebook like a motherfucker, I’m sure some of you remember. It was ugly. Facebook almost banned me, well they did kind of, they said ‘stop it or else’. I don’t think I stopped, but I stumbled upon Blogger, and I was like, awe.. always wanted to say something dumb like ‘I have a blog’. And so it began. The questionz were born. #ATWQ

Now, as you can see, the start of ATWQ is pretty shaky, and nobody really knows what the fuck’s going on. Well, like I said, there was elevation involved, and those were the stages where things were a little out of control. The thing about getting high is sometimes you forget that you’re acrophobic. And you do dumb shit. I’m proud to say that this is one of them. I also do believe that it does me good, though. You know how sometimes you get like a brilliant thought, and two days later you wish you had written it down. Blogging fills that feeling for me. At least now it does. When I started, I was just like F the Illuminati. #occupy nigga!! What what?! Lol..

Anyway, I only started feeling liberated by it a few days ago. I mean 2000+ people have read it. 3000+ if I include the page views from my other blogs. That feeds my ego a bit, but that’s not why I’m still at it. I was reflecting... finding myself as they say and I looked back and I realized I am being punished. I’m tortured on the inside and I can never really know why. That voice in my head from two years ago hated me for something I did. I have a pretty good theory:

I think I’m still a little mad at myself for not pursuing a career in the arts. I mean if I look at myself, I’m weirdly talented in so many of the art forms out there; I draw, I rap, I dance (pop), I write, I design… I really could have branched into any of those, but ja shit happens, like living in a country with shitty job opportunities. There is no funding for the arts. So I thought architecture, I’m mos also a smart guy. Wasn’t as easy to get into as I thought, maybe if I put more effort into those damn portfolios. Then of course civil engineering was next. And so here we are.

Ag maybe I’m mad because I succumbed to the ways of the world, fell into the very system I was supposed to be fighting. You know, go to school, go to college, get a good job, find a good wife, make nice kids, leave a ‘legacy’ and die like a boss. I suppose somewhere along the line I thought I could change the world, even just a little. Also I think the voice is mad that I stopped trying or that I no longer adhere to the original plan. And this must be the punishment.

My offense was quitting on my initial dreams, and thus I am sentenced to six years of tertiary education, pretentious friends (duh, not all of them), being broke, and a lifetime of being a robot. Blogging is my way of staying off the streets and avoiding getting raped in this hell hole. :D 

Not that I’m not grateful for the opportunity to ‘better’ myself, I am… it’s just… Ag I knew you wouldn’t understand!!


Friday, August 24, 2012

WQ #9545: WTF? Why The Face?

I cried today!

If you can imagine how a guilty criminal with a conscience must feel at a trial when he sees his victim on the witness stand, and all his guilt comes rushing, as if flood gates were opened, then you can imagine how I feel right now.

I feel like I just wrote my name on Santa's naughty list. But that happened earlier. Lets just say, angels do exist. Now, me and Hazel have this new thing, where we pretend the kak they talked on The Secret actually works. so basically we just pretend or believe that our hearts desire will, no matter what, materialize. I won't lie, I kinda enjoy this game.

So, there I was, finally gathering the courage to talk to Shawty(from part one). and shit just backfires in my face. I realized that our intoxicated passion was one sided. Very. And so it was, that I turned into a violator, instead of the hopeless romantic I would like to believe I am. Fuck!! i got so angry at myself for not seeing the signs, that I shed a tear or two. Timmy was even like, is jy ntja,bra??  No really, Shawty made me feel so dirty inside that I almost puked in my mouth a little. On the upside, she at least guaranteed me, our friendship would never die.

So, not even two hours later, it was as if God saw my pain, and decided to put his angels to work. So there I was, chillin with Hazel and Jay(they smoked me, so you know I'm forever grateful), and I decided to check my inbox, and sowaar ook, in heaven as it is on Earth, my day was turned around. Sweety (shawty from part two), decided to make a back man blush. No, you don't even know!! I was crying, when I saw how much she cared, and missed me -for a relationship consisting of no more than 5 days in total- I was awestruck. And I decided...

Yes. I would try all that my strength would allow, to make us work. And not because I'm sour or nothing, but because she deserves it...:/

If for some reason, and angel brushes past you, you know, you owe it to God, to reward it with love.

So ja... wish me luck...


I'm goin in.... :)

Thursday, August 16, 2012

WQ #124632: To be or not to be? Pt 2


So guys... I got massive feedback about this story and i have come to a conclusion...

 This is how the story went, i met someone by accident.... who blew me away

yes, i told cindz and IV that someone else appeared on the scene,and really it baffles how awesome she is...altogether we spent three days in each others company and honestly it feels like ages and ages of nice feelings. for obvious reasons, her name cannot be disclosed, but im sure if she reads this she will know...

 and it was in the darkest of my days, when she took my sorrow and you took my pain, buried them away...

yes, im quoting adele, and if you got sumn against that, eat a dick!! lol, movin on... Ja nee the events of part one became worse. i feel like shawty built a high ass wall between us. and since she is/was my best friend, it felt like i was alone all of a sudden. alone alone, hehe. but along came this girl. and sowaar ook, she's like the female version of me, and i cant get enough. we chat like Jesus is coming tomorrow and we hold each other like we Siamese...

sigh...

the question obviously is, do i make this move? or do i take it extra slow?? i know you're wonderin y i wud wanna take it slow.. truth is, shawty has recently been hurt and you know only fools rush in...and im feeling very foolish as of late...

example..im drunk right now... i know i know, im very coherent for an intoxicated individual...but you see, that's what spell check is there for....

help!

:)

C

PS nevermind my grammar style...i simply like lowercase...

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

WQ #234259 To be or not to be?

Now everybody knows that this must be the wrongest question ever! I'm not even going to explain why! I'll just tell you why I am asking.. Ahem.

'Affairs of the heart', I'd like to say that I'm in love, but that would imply that i'm in a relationship{kinda like that story Cindy wrote}. And I'm not in no damn relationship, nor do I want to be, not now, but hey,shit happens, and the damn heart wants what it wants. 

So this one girl(If you scan this post, her name is coded in here..) and then there's me. Now I've her almost too long, and the thought of us becoming 'us', is just insanely inappropriate, incest even. But ja, shit happens, once again. Did something happen, you ask? Well, duh!!

We were intimate(PG13, don't worry). Then we sobered up, lol. and went back to 'normal'. OK, maybe not entirely if i have to write about it...But what happened wasn't even the question,though. What I'M asking is what now??..

So, I asked my newest daughter(IV) what she thinks I should do... and this child,  smart as she is, suggested I kiss her when we sober. And I was all like..


Challenge accepted!!